Supporting people who are grieving

People are often at a loss to know what to do or say when someone they care about loses a loved one. Here are some ideas of what to do and say to comfort your friends who are suffering with grief. 

When someone dies, friends and family come together to comfort each other. It’s hard to know what to do or say but we instinctively know that the act of coming together is important. But what do you really say to someone you know who has lost a loved one? Some people are so unsure of what to say they avoid the funeral and their friend all together, leaving the person who is suffering from grief bewildered by the fact that their friend seems to have abandoned them.

The simple act of being there is tremendous comfort to the grieving person. You don’t need to say anything magical, sometimes you don’t even need to talk at all. Listening to someone talk about how much they miss their loved one or listening to a story about the deceased is often just what is needed. Allowing that person get out what they have been keeping inside is a wonderful gift.

At first people are good about visiting you when you lose someone in your family. They bring their casserole over to the house and send flowers. They attend the funeral and for days, even weeks they come by to visit and just see how you are doing. However, the visits taper off and the left behind often find themselves very alone. About a year after the death is when the widow or widower feels the full effect of their loss and they have to face a new life without them. That’s also the time that many visitors stop coming by. It’s difficult to start over but it can be even more difficult when friends stop visiting.