Burial or Cremation?
A burial is normally determined by family tradition, religion and spiritual or cultural beliefs. Planning a religious or cultural ceremony may have to be included as part of the burial. If you’re unsure, speak with the family.
The body of your loved one may need to be embalmed if the burial and/or viewing needs to take place more than a few days out from the death. Please see embalming (below) for further details.
For most, the final resting place is at a community cemetery. If you don’t already have a family plot, crypt or mausoleum, a plot will need to be purchased. Your funeral director can take care of this.
Privately-Owned Land
If privately-owned land is a burial option for you, be cautious of the implications should the land be sold in the future. It is recommended you check any legal documentation which may exist, preventing you from implementing this option.
Burial at Sea
A burial at sea is a complex option, one that is not often promoted. There are limited locations in which a burial at sea can take place, and specific preparations must be made before such a burial. Not all commercial funeral services are available to assist with burials at sea.
Usually, the Captain (or commanding officer) of a ship, or a religious representative performs the ceremony. Legally, a Captain can bury remains at sea, provided environmental regulations are satisfied.
The ceremony may include burial in a casket, cloth, urn, or the scattering of ashes. Burial at sea by aircraft is done only with cremated remains. Another type of burial at sea involves mixing the ashes with concrete to form an artificial reef.
Because of the particular logistics and individual country laws, you will need to discuss the matter with local authorities and your funeral director before planning a burial at sea.
Natural Setting
A natural setting burial is when your loved one’s casket is buried as normal but instead of a headstone, a tree or other type of vegetation is planted and grown as a grave marker and memorial. This option has become very popular of late.
Considering Cremation
Many people choose to cremate the remains of loved ones. When choosing a crematorium venue, you will need to consider whether you want to hold the funeral service there, what the memorial gardens are like, and what you plan to do with your loved one’s ashes after the ceremony. The crematorium will place the cremated remains in an inexpensive container which can be taken away, however a more permanent and suitable urn of your choice may be preferred.
Most crematoriums have their own memorial gardens, which are dedicated to those who have departed. Bereaved people can visit these gardens for some quiet solace and contemplation. Memorials in the form of tree or shrub planting may be available. The option to scatter your loved one’s ashes over the garden is usually available if the cremation took place there.
Many people scatter their loved one’s ashes in a spot of special significance. There is usually no restriction although in theory you should seek the permission of the landowner. Others may choose to scatter or bury them in their own garden, but this option should be considered in the light of possibly moving house and whether you wish cremated remains to be eventually placed together, such as with a husband and wife.
Some people wish to place cremated remains in a cemetery or churchyard. Check the type of urn that is acceptable to the location if this is what you intend to do.
In the case of babies or very young children, there may be no ashes following a cremation. Arrangements can be made for the placing of a memorial plaque at the crematorium, but there may be a charge for erecting one.
Embalming
Embalming is usually opted for when timing is an issue, for example if the body is not able to be interred in a usual timely manner. Embalming is the practice of preserving the remains so that events such as the viewing and a burial may take place at a later date.
The Embalming Process
The preparation of the body is called embalming. Although the body can be viewed without embalming, it is sometimes best if the body is embalmed. Embalming is a chemical process that temporarily preserves the body and is the most successful way of removing the signs of disease and trauma.
Embalming is done for several reasons: to allow you enough time to arrange the funeral services; to transport your loved one to another location for services; and to keep your loved one’s appearance looking peaceful and soothing to other family members.
Individual country and state laws may regulate embalming. In some exceptions, embalming is not required, while other laws may require you to give your permission for embalming to be performed by the funeral home.
The remains of your loved one will always be treated with respect and dignity. Embalming is only performed by those who have had the required education and have passed licensing requirements (in most countries and states) to practice.
The embalming process requires that the practitioner understands many different disciplines of knowledge. These disciplines include anatomy, microbiology, pathology, chemistry and specialised areas such as restorative art and cosmetology.
The procedure requires time and skill. Embalming takes place in a room that resembles a surgical operating room. The procedure itself may be more extensive if an autopsy has been performed or trauma is present. The body is thoroughly washed and dressed after the embalming procedure, and cosmetics are applied if needed.
Regardless of who will be viewing your loved one, the funeral home will ask the family to come to see them first. In many cases, families change their mind from wanting a closed casket to an open casket after seeing their loved one. It has been known to help with the grieving process.
Choosing a Casket
To show your respect for your loved one, you may feel compelled to spare no expense when it comes to choosing a coffin or casket. It’s totally normal to feel this way. We recommend you talk this over with other decision-makers in order to select something that is not only best suited to the memory of your loved one, but is also within your budget. Your loved one would probably not want you to suffer financial hardship on their behalf.
Your options will no doubt be vast, so try not to feel overwhelmed in making this decision and just remember that it’s okay to ask for help from your funeral director as well as family and friends. When you’re ready, take a look through our directory as a starting point.
Headstones and Memorials
Selecting the memorial headstone will follow after the choice of burial or cremation. Don’t feel rushed to have this completed and done before the funeral. Many people choose to sort this out some time later when they’re able to think more clearly. Once the headstone or memorial is ready to be placed, you may wish to gather close friends and family to pay their last respects in the unveiling.
Headstones and memorials serve as a tribute to your loved one. Take your time and ask friends and family to get involved. Working together with others will help with the grieving process.