Writing a Eulogy
Having to write a eulogy will be one of the most daunting tasks you have ever set out to do. However this guide has been set out to step you through the process of writing a powerful and memorable eulogy. Don’t overlook the emotional journey this will take you through, take breaks as you write it and hopefully you can capture those true emotions in your writings.
When you later verbalise them you will give a true and precise account of the life in which you will be celebrating and remembering. If you are honoured to deliver a eulogy, it is likely that those nearest and dearest to the deceased deem you as having been an important part in the life of the person who has died. You have been chosen because others see you as one person who knew the deceased in such a way that you can give a true and correct summary of their life.
There is an element of tradition with a eulogy, and in essence one could say the purpose is to give tribute to the one who has died. Providing you achieve this primary aspect of the speech, the actual format needn’t follow tradition.
Write your eulogy in a manner that you feel comfortable in speaking. My suggestion would be to write it yourself, because you write the way you speak. It is not easy to read and verbalise someone else’s writings. If someone is kind enough to assist you, perhaps they could write while you dictate.
We trust that the guidelines set out for you assist you to write and deliver a eulogy that not only does justice to the life of your late friend or family member, but also does you proud for the bold and courageous stand you make by committing to such a challenging yet meaningful task!
The time given to prepare a eulogy is usually minimal, and almost always stressful. So allow your self time to plan and prepare. Keep a note pad close by and as things come to mind, jot them down. Try and document things in to some form of time line.
Guide
- Get it clear in your mind what you are wanting to convey in the eulogy. It is absolutely essential you recognize what you want to share about the life of the person you are to give tribute to. Allow yourself plenty of time to work through the structure of it and form some time line. This will assist you subconsciously as you plan your speech.
- Are others also sharing in the eulogy giving? If so, is there a specific portion of the deceased’s life that you are expected to cover? Ensure you liaise with the family member or person who asked you to deliver the eulogy to establish the parameters of the life you are to give tribute to. No one wants to hear a duplication of events or achievements!
- Structure a manner or style in how you want to convey the eulogy and write or dictate the speech yourself. You will feel much more comfortable delivering something written in your own style and flow. When you write your speech, write 2 lines, one line space, 2 lines, 1 line space etc. This will enable you to flow more freely when delivering it, and also easier to find your place if you did happen to loose it.
- Set the tone you want to pitch your eulogy at. There will be many moments of the life you farewell that you want to share. It is not always necessary to structure the eulogy in a chronological order, however it will give balance to your delivery. Identify the tone of the person you are eulogising and very importantly take into account the events surrounding their death. Don’t be afraid to be honest and try and combine both the positive and the odd negativity of the character you farewell. This will give true feeling to the eulogy, but essentially give honour to their life. Be wise in your word choice.
- The beginning is not easy, so ensure you start off with something impactful. Do not begin with an excuse for your nervousness or inability to speak in public. Give yourself the credit that you are the person chosen to convey this message. You have been chosen because you are best equipped with the knowledge to do it. So set your opening words in a manner so they are impactful. Grab the attention of your audience with a bold opening line.
- Because you have edited well, each and every sentence from then on will hold their attention. Mix the emotions of the life you give tribute to by varying the stories or events. If you are able, bring in the soft, emotional words a paragraph before you plan to close.
- The ending: After having said your softer more emotional thoughts, gather your composure, then aim to finish on a high note ie: something lighter/ humorous. This will leave the audience in awe of your delivery, and allow you to return to your seat retaining your personal dignity.
- Once you have written the speech. [If time permits] Put it down for a while. Then when you go back to it. Edit it. Edit, Edit, Edit. Cut out the trivial words and duplication of terms and phrases.
- Practise, Practise, Practise.
- Deliver your eulogy.